John Finds Sherlock's Diary
by amazinglikewhoa
Summary: John is snooping and happens upon something interesting that will change sherlock and his relationship forever.


John stared blankly at the text covered computer screen in front of him. _How can this be? _John thought… he knew Sherlock had a blog himself but a personal diary was the jack pot for John. He hardly ever knew what was going on in that man's head, and now he has personal access to it all. Excitement filled John. He took a deep breath. _Oh, dear god I shouldn't do this. What could possibly be on here that would interest me? I really don't care if he figured out that the murdered man wasn't murdered by his wife, that it was in fact his cat…. Or something stupid like that…. _ A smile twitched on Johns face though, because as he was scanning the screen he caught hold of his name in the jumble of words. John picked the laptop off the table and put it on his lap leaning back on the couch.

John glanced up at Sherlock's door. He was asleep. He hadn't slept in days after this recent case they had just been on, so John knew he wasn't going to wake up anytime soon. He looked back at the screen and glanced over the page again before starting to read. He noticed his name a lot. _Probably him going on a rant about how stupid I am… _John sighed and hesitated before reading. It read:

_John and I were on this case. Case of the"Striped Sock" he called it on his blog. I would have called it "Case of the Lestrade and John were wrong… again… because they're in capable of simply thinking". That does just roll off the tongue doesn't it? What a title! I'd type it again but that's a waste of time my, time is valuable. _

_I'm writing this in the middle of an experiment. I have three human feet in the fridge… all left foots of course. I'm sure Molly won't mind a few corpses missing left feet… would she? Even if she does I'll just extend my lower lip and frown my brow and compliment her on something. Yeah that'll work. It works on John even better…_

John looked up. "It does not work on me!" he said quickly realizing he said it aloud, he covered his mouth and went back to the computer.

_I still can't get over the fact John asked me… I mean ME… of all people to be his best man for his wedding. I thought he would have asked George to do it or something. I mean he is good at his job… well for a goldfish that is. But again ME? I still can't be freaking out can I? The wedding was 7 months ago and I still feel a flip in my stomach thinking about it. It was strange this flipping feeling. I've only ever felt this feeling before when there was a really tough mystery to solve. That exciting pulse of energy I didn't know humans could do that to other humans without murdering someone… I mean John had my stomach flip just this morning, and all he did was look at me and smile… The tingle was so weird I had to look away and think about simple cases for a while. _

John looked up again mouth hanging open. For a moment the only thing he did was replay the memory of this event in his mind over and over. Dear God! Sherlock's stomach did flip! He remembered Sherlock looking at him kind of dazed; he had just assumed Sherlock was in deep thought about his case. He thought through the event again… Oh my, he remembered looking away isn't just what Sherlock did; he remembered his pale face going from nearly white to three different shade of pink in a matter of seconds! He blushed! _Why the hell would he blush? What was embarrassing? He was just thinking, I was walking. Do I walk funny? I don't have a limp anymore… That can't be it. _He read back over the sentence:

"_I mean John had my stomach flip just this morning, and all he did was look at me and smile…"_

John thought over it. _My smile made him blush? So I have a bad smile? Does that arse think my smiles something funny? _He flipped the computer to camera mode really quick and smiled. _It's not that bad… is it? _John heard a click like a camera taking a picture. _Damn it! Did I just take a picture? How do I get out of this camera mode? _John clicked a button and heard another camera click. _God damn it!_ He pressed his fists hard against the key board and heard a few more clicks of the camera. He growled out loud. _Holy mother of…_ he banged his fists again and the screen had Sherlock's diary page back up. He swallowed hard with frustration and leaned back into his reading position.

_Oh, goodness John is amazing! He makes me do and think things no one had ever made me think or do before. When I'm watching him examine a body I can't help but watch his beautiful face scrunch up in a thinking type way._

John backed up a bit. His mind went blank and then charged into thought. _Did he just say I have a… what was it? _He looked at the screen again.

_"__Beautiful face"_

John leaned his head back against the couch cushion. _"Beautiful"? What the hell does that mean?_ _Does Sherlock… like… me? _John had thought he might before, but could this be actual evidence? The thought made John smile stupidly. Once he realized he was smiling he stopped. _Stop smiling John! You look like a bloody idiot. _He looked around the flat. _Well at least no one is here to see me smile. _John's lips curled back into a smile. He knew the thought of Sherlock having interest in him should make him feel weird that his best friend wants him, but all it did was make him smile. He was flattered. He liked him too. He turned back to the laptop.

_I wish someone could see him the way I do… I mean of course Mary sees him, but with a small fraction of how I see him. And god… the wedding… I wanted to... I don't know actually. But when I saw him kiss her and her melt into him it made me confused. I couldn't even watch the whole kiss without feeling… what's that word? I'm not sure, but I felt that way when ever Mycroft got his way and I didn't. I want my way every once in a while!_

John couldn't help but burst out laughing, _Get his way every once in a while? _John giggled even more having the laugh turn into more of a cackle.

"John can you please keep it down!" he heard Sherlock call from his bedroom. "You woke me up from the most fantastic dream! Now shut up!"

"Sorry", John laughed even harder starting to snort.

Sherlock's door swung open and John found himself panicking quickly exiting the diary page. "What in the bloody hell is so funny?"

"Um… email", he said quickly opening the browser. Forgetting this was Sherlock's lap top and not his own, he went to the browser history and clicked the first link. Usually the last thing John checked was his email, expecting his email to pop up he smirked at Sherlock. Leaning the laptop up to his chest.

"What was so funny about it?"

John quickly remembered a cute cat video Mary sent him just last night. "A video of a cat…"

"I don't see the internet's fascination with cats… their all so…" he paused pulling his lips back into his face as if he was thinking. "Can I see?"

John expecting this nodded and watched Sherlock make his was to the couch and sit down next to him and rest the middle of his fore arm on John's shoulder. Sherlock rested his head on his elevated arm and yawned. "You ready?"

"Yeah… hey is this my computer?" Sherlock asked looking at the top cover of it, because of the way John was holding the screen to his chest Sherlock could see the small SH in the corner.

"Um… yeah but mine is dead. Hope you don't mind", John swallowed hard.

"No it's fine but how did you unlock it?"

"Anderson sux, isn't a very good password Sherlock."

"No I suppose not…" Sherlock sighed. "Anyways video."

"Oh yeah just let me pull it up", John pulled the computer away from chest and gasped realizing what he saw. It was two naked men going at it like animals. John turned away but not before he could notice that one man had short blonde hair and the other medium curly black hair. This made him giggle.

"Oh, cat video I see…" Sherlock smirked and then his face turned red when he realized this wasn't just any gay porno… it was the one he was watching last night. Sherlock knocked the computer out of John's hands and stood up and kicked it across the flat with such strength it broke hitting the side of the counter. He turned back to John who had slid off the couch and was now dying of laughter on the floor. "Why were you going through my history?" Sherlock asked his voice high with embarrassment.

"I-I t-thought…" John gave up after a second and kept laughing.

"It's not funny" Sherlock pouted turning even more red.

John saw his face and stopped. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to hurt your… feelings" the last word came out slowly. _Damn it the face does work on me! _

"Look I was just a bit"

"Horny for me?" John smiled trying not to laugh.

Sherlock's face turned to the deepest red Johns ever seen a man's face get. "I'm not horny for you! It was for an experiment!" Sherlock crossed his arms and sat back on the couch looking like he wanted to die.

"That explains why they looked like us!" John couldn't help but laugh and then realize what he saw. His face scrunched up and he shook his head trying to get the image out of his head. The fact it kind of pleased him, disturbed him. He sat down next to Sherlock. "Look I'm sorry it's just…"

"No John! I'm sick of this you have no clue what it's like! Mary has you and that's not fair!"

"What?" John whispered astonished.

"I worked so hard to make you try and feel for me what I feel for you and I leave for just two years and you're about to get married to some random woman?"

"Some random woman? Sherlock she is my wife and I love her very much don't call her some random woman! And two years? You think I was going to wait? You put me through hell! Why would I wait if I thought you were dead?" John stood up and went for the door.

Sherlock got up and pulled John back by the hand. "Look I'm sorry about that, you know that!" He was face to face with John. "I don't…" Sherlock trailed off and John heard tears in his voice. Sherlock dug his face into John's shoulder, wrapping his arms around him.

_Is Sherlock hugging me? Does he really feel that bad_? John sighed and wrapped his arms around Sherlock as well. "Ok deep breaths. Just talk to me. Tell me," John said in a calming voice. He'd never seen Sherlock like this. So emotional…. And well, crying.

Sherlock sniffled into Johns sweater and pulled back to look him in the eyes. "John I love you. And it's definitely not fair I have to share you with someone. And sometimes I feel screwed over because she gets all the… you know…"

John gasped when he realized what Sherlock was saying. "Sherlock I had no idea! And I…" he took a deep breath and sighed. "I… I love you too," it all came out in a quick jumble and he wasn't quite sure Sherlock was even able to understand him. He looked Sherlock in the eyes and saw his big baby blue watery eyes widen.

"Really John?" Sherlock whispered barely even able to hear himself.

John nodded. "But I am with Mary, Sherlock," John sighed, "and she's pregnant with my baby! I can't just leave her like that!"

"That's fine." Sherlock wiped away his tears. "All I needed was the I love you." Sherlock half smiled and turned around.

John could tell that wasn't all Sherlock needed. And that Sherlock might not even be convinced John really loved him back. He sighed and decided to do something he's wanted to do for years. He grabbed Sherlock's hand and pulled him up against the wall in front of him. He grabbed on to both sides of his neck and stared at him for just a few seconds that felt like forever. His stomach flipped and he could feel his heart start to race. He rested his forehead on Sherlock's keeping eye contact. "Sherlock Holmes I am utterly and completely in love with every last bit of you…"

He leaned in and kissed Sherlock. And after a second Sherlock kissed him back. It was the best kiss John ever had. He thought fireworks were just an expression, but now he realized that wasn't the case. He loved how the feeling of Sherlock's lips on his was even better than he had imagined. He over powered Sherlock and heard a slight moan, and decided that was enough. Even though he didn't want to stop he pulled away and pressed his forehead against Sherlock's again. He held him there moving his hands that he hadn't even realized he'd intertwined in Sherlock's curls back to his neck. "I'm sorry but that's all I can give, for now…"

"For now?" Sherlock panted trying to catch his breath.

"Well you know if Mary shoots you again she's out of the question."

"I'll try my hardest to piss her off…" Sherlock giggled.

John gave a little chuckle and pecked Sherlock on the lips one last time, and then turned away. He heard something hit the floor. He turned and Sherlock was on the floor lying there smiling like an idiot.

John opened his mouth to say something but heard the front door down stairs open frantically and a pair of feet rushing up the stairs toward them. Lestrade burst through the door panting. "I need you now! Murder stuff, it's fun! Come on!"

"John can you go with him? I'm gonna be here for a while. Text me the address and I'll follow soon."

John smiled. "Yeah," he said giggling a bit. He followed Greg out the door and his smile grew bigger every step he took down the stairs.


End file.
